Marshall's a certified master relationship coach, as well as a writer and creative director. The Lions have broken his heart since 1980. 

David's a commercial artist, and the former captain of his high school football team. The Lions have failed him since 1980.

Heather's a body doubler and movement facilitator. The Lions have had her screaming at her television since 2017.

Jason's a medical intuitive and professional football prognosticator. The Lions have been messing with his predictions since 1978.